Well. This is a cobwebby, rusted-shut sort of a blog at the moment, isn’t it? My blog-roll has disappeared altogether, look. Can’t find the bastard thing at all. And my categories are scattergories (but I think I know where they are. At least, I think I saw NaBloPoMo 2007 laughing at me from under a table just now). Whenever I think of the work, oh God the work it’s going to take, sorting this be-damned blog out again, new-and-improved style, with a shiny updated blog-roll and nice new categories to fill with wit and charm, I feel quite sick.
Maybe I shan’t bother. After all, eating dinner off a packing-case and making a bed out of sofa-cushions and sleeping-bags is quite fun, isn’t it?
But I have a new template! I have been thinking Big Thoughts about the template for months now [She is not kidding. Not even a little bit - Ed]. An Ideal Template, of course, would be winsome yet authoritative. Funny yet high-minded. Just a tad geeky, seeing as geeky is cool, yet classic. Hinting at long nights of Turkish coffee and political discussion in chic slightly distressed apartments in Paris or possibly New York, yet down-to-earth, cosy as an Amish quilt and smelling of cocoa and lavender.
How about this one? It’s… well. It’s Not Annoying. And I can play with the pictures in the header. I’m happy.
So, where have I been, while this blog grew toadstools and the mice chewed its edges?
It’s a crappy question. Well, it’s not a crappy question, but the answer is crappy and can get out of hand and next thing you know you’re holding my hand and passing me tissues and refilling my glass with gin all at once while I repeat ‘no, no, I’m fine in an increasingly shrill and wobbly voice. Aren’t you glad there’s all this internet in the way?
When I last crashed out of this blog, I crashed back in again to let you all know that while doing my MA in Librarianship, I had finally-at-last-hurrah gotten pregnant, and then lost the baby, which broke my heart. Since that time, I have had four more miscarriages. Given that my heart was already broken, they between them broke me instead. I am not entirely like the Reed of old. I am a very tired Reed. I find writing creatively painfully hard now, and have written very little poetry or done much to my novel drafts. I work full-time, in a more senior post at the same old library (the MA was useful). Whole days spent reading or dicking about with wool and needles? No longer exist. And my health has not in the least improved – my insides are a mess, and I am in violent, not-even-the-morphine-touches-it, throwing-up-and-passing-out pain from time-to-time.
OK, that last paragraph was fairly foul, wasn’t it? Cheer up, it’s over now, and you don’t have to read it again.
On the plus side, I do have a full-time job, which in this Age of Scary Economy is a blessing and a marvel. I am still married to S, who is still wonderful and adorable (and currently has a vile stinking cold and looks utterly miserable, poor sod). I still have all my own teeth and no fillings. And I still have internet access. So.
What to write about tomorrow, that’s the question.