Comments on: The world is my teeny-tiny mollusc http://www.out-of-ideas.com/2008/12/10/the-world-is-my-teeny-tiny-mollusc/ I write, therefore I drink tea Tue, 03 Mar 2009 00:30:46 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Helen http://www.out-of-ideas.com/2008/12/10/the-world-is-my-teeny-tiny-mollusc/comment-page-1/#comment-7872 Helen Tue, 23 Dec 2008 12:43:06 +0000 http://www.out-of-ideas.com/?p=208#comment-7872 Yes, please be kind to yourself, Reed. You've gone through such a horrible time, and really, the dissertation is finished and done, it is almost as though you have jumped through a burning hoop. Going back to it will only hurt ten times more. I am thinking, do you have to tell your family your mark? Sometimes I just sketch around the details of these things if I know they will provoke an annoying response, I might say something like: "Oh yeah, I passed..." change subject, no further information. I am so familiar with this intense putting-pressure-on-myself, and in retrospect I think: "Why did I treat myself that way? Would I have had such exacting standards for a friend or even a stranger? No way!" Please let yourself off the hook. NaNoWriMo SchnaSchnoSchwriSchmo! Yes, please be kind to yourself, Reed. You’ve gone through such a horrible time, and really, the dissertation is finished and done, it is almost as though you have jumped through a burning hoop. Going back to it will only hurt ten times more. I am thinking, do you have to tell your family your mark? Sometimes I just sketch around the details of these things if I know they will provoke an annoying response, I might say something like: “Oh yeah, I passed…” change subject, no further information.

I am so familiar with this intense putting-pressure-on-myself, and in retrospect I think: “Why did I treat myself that way? Would I have had such exacting standards for a friend or even a stranger? No way!” Please let yourself off the hook. NaNoWriMo SchnaSchnoSchwriSchmo!

]]> By: archiearchive http://www.out-of-ideas.com/2008/12/10/the-world-is-my-teeny-tiny-mollusc/comment-page-1/#comment-7693 archiearchive Mon, 15 Dec 2008 06:21:25 +0000 http://www.out-of-ideas.com/?p=208#comment-7693 Dear Reed, relax, unwind, stare at the moon, take long pointless walks, listen to some Joan Baez (or Julie London or Suzi Quatro if either is more to your liking). Reconnect with the earth and its seasons. We cannot affect those things which have already happened. We can only ready ourselves for what is to come. Just know that your friends care, wish you the best and are pretty well non-judgmental while being proud to know someone with your ability, humanity and accomplishments. Oh, one small judgmental bit (hey, where does it say I have to be consistent?) - while you may not think the dissertation was up to scratch, those who judged it have had a lot of experience. Trust and accept their judgment. In the meantime, fantasies involving eight men in uniform, while not my cup of tea, could well be just the thing for you ;) Dear Reed, relax, unwind, stare at the moon, take long pointless walks, listen to some Joan Baez (or Julie London or Suzi Quatro if either is more to your liking). Reconnect with the earth and its seasons. We cannot affect those things which have already happened. We can only ready ourselves for what is to come. Just know that your friends care, wish you the best and are pretty well non-judgmental while being proud to know someone with your ability, humanity and accomplishments.

Oh, one small judgmental bit (hey, where does it say I have to be consistent?) – while you may not think the dissertation was up to scratch, those who judged it have had a lot of experience. Trust and accept their judgment.

In the meantime, fantasies involving eight men in uniform, while not my cup of tea, could well be just the thing for you ;)

]]> By: Fugitive Pieces http://www.out-of-ideas.com/2008/12/10/the-world-is-my-teeny-tiny-mollusc/comment-page-1/#comment-7671 Fugitive Pieces Fri, 12 Dec 2008 11:13:02 +0000 http://www.out-of-ideas.com/?p=208#comment-7671 Dearest Reed Oh, bloody hell. There is one thing worse than being praised for a piece of work that you know was a travesty of its original potential - and that is the indifference of other people (OK, family) to the distress that caused its buggering up. Bad enough that strangers are lauding work that you consider to be a sling-shot of dung. You really don't need to have abject grief and weariness described as a 'fuss', even hypothetically. Don't tell your family. Tell people who will be pleased for you, but understanding if you feel entirely, blankly bewildered about it. To be brutal, I think that losing one baby was enough. Having your work come out wrong, and desperately, and too soon - well, it's another loss, a lesser one but in the same dolorous key. The NaNoWriMo thing was just too big an ask after that. Please, show yourself a bit of tenderness, and compassion, and all those words that make your toes curl in horrified anticipation of encroaching warm fuzziness - no, I can't do it to you. But, honestly, dear heart: enough with the deadlines for a bit. Make some tea. Stare into the middle distance. Kick a pigeon. Stop hurling yourself at precipices, especially from the bottom. God, with a post this long, I should have done NaNoWriMo. Take care of yourself. I mean it. Dearest Reed
Oh, bloody hell.
There is one thing worse than being praised for a piece of work that you know was a travesty of its original potential – and that is the indifference of other people (OK, family) to the distress that caused its buggering up. Bad enough that strangers are lauding work that you consider to be a sling-shot of dung. You really don’t need to have abject grief and weariness described as a ‘fuss’, even hypothetically. Don’t tell your family. Tell people who will be pleased for you, but understanding if you feel entirely, blankly bewildered about it.
To be brutal, I think that losing one baby was enough. Having your work come out wrong, and desperately, and too soon – well, it’s another loss, a lesser one but in the same dolorous key. The NaNoWriMo thing was just too big an ask after that.
Please, show yourself a bit of tenderness, and compassion, and all those words that make your toes curl in horrified anticipation of encroaching warm fuzziness – no, I can’t do it to you. But, honestly, dear heart: enough with the deadlines for a bit. Make some tea. Stare into the middle distance. Kick a pigeon. Stop hurling yourself at precipices, especially from the bottom.
God, with a post this long, I should have done NaNoWriMo. Take care of yourself. I mean it.

]]>