Archive for July, 2007

I am thoroughly interviewed.

Monday, July 9th, 2007

Oh, now this is a very cool meme. Bloggers are interviewing each other. And instead of waiting to be tagged, which can mean waiting like the speccy fat kid in games who nobody choses and ends up in a team by default (me! That was me! Not bitter!), anyway, instead of waiting to be tagged, you can march up and demand to be interviewed. So Charlotte interviewed Aphra, and I got Aphra to interview me. And Aphra is a complete fiend with the questions, and it’s all gone revelations here chez Reed. So! Are we ready? No? Never mind.

1) If you could have your particular childhood over again, would you change any of it and if so, what, what to and why?

Yes I would, most of it, to just about anything else, because it sucked.

That’s not exactly illuminating, is it?

There were some wonderful things in my childhood. The farms in the mountains of Italy I grew up on, the huge and crazy family we luckily did not have to live in the same country as, the books (oh, the glory of having immensely bookish pack-rat parents who don’t care what you’re reading as long as you’re quiet), the excitement of travelling back to Blighty for summer and Christmas, the whole bilingual enhanced perspective thing. Any other child, a less neurotic, hyper-sensitive, awkward child would have probably got a very happy childhood out of it all. Me, I was a rotten kid – sickly, grouchy, prone to out-bursts and crying jags, hugely bad at getting along with other children, a complicated mix of academically gifted and supremely dense. Having the words ‘outsider, please mock’ embroidered onto all of my pinnies probably didn’t help.

But what can I change? I honestly think it was a good thing my parents got divorced. I think my mother’s choice of second husband was, err, not a choice made with any of her brain, perhaps, but even though I loathed my step-Dad, I love my little sister, so how can I wish her away by wishing him away? And in any case, I think I am getting to understand him and his bazillion hang-ups and also just what a difficult kid I was. After a great deal of introspection [Damn you, Aphra! - Ed] I have decided I’d like to change the following things:

  1. Our father should have never played favourites with me and my sister (the middle sister, not the littlest one, who, see above, had a different father). I was the favourite, his clever little princess, and it wounded my sister again and again. Also, when I grew up and moved from Adoring to Opinionated, Dad pulled a Monsieur de Beauvoir on me. So now I also have a somewhat awkward relationship with my Dad, and ditto with my sister, who understandably has never quite forgiven either of us. ‘You mean… all this time, we could have been friends?’
  2. I wish I had learnt to be more sociable and cuddly at a younger age, and less of a thin-skinned smartypants know-it-all wise-arse. I might have made more and better friends, and been less bullied. I was well into my teens before I worked out how to socialise nicely.
  3. I wish my chronic ill-health had been better attended to. I have had seriously major emergency surgery in my teens, and am now going under the knife again, and you know? I think it might have helped if adults hadn’t assumed I was a raving hypochondriac from the age of thirteen onwards.

2) What is the coolest thing you’ve ever knitted?

tumblejumper.jpgHmm. After much thought – surely everything I knit is trés cool? – I have chosen this. It is too big (I think I had a mathematics slippage), so heavy one can only happily wear it as an overcoat, and took me nearly two years, and an ungodly amount of bad language, unpicking, untangling, weeping and strong drink. My husband chose the pattern. I am still not entirely sure I shouldn’t have slapped him upside the head with the pattern book and moved swiftly on at the time, but it does look cool, doesn’t it? Also, people come up to him on the street on those rare arctic days when he does wear it and comment. Often favourably.

3) What is your favourite anecdote about a family member, and what sort of reaction do you usually get when you tell it?

Eh heh heh heh heh. So many to chose from, so little time. There are hundreds about my obstreperous and arrogant grand-dad, who threw glasses at the wall to attract the attention of waiters, and his many many lady-friends and many many wives. His current wife is younger than his first three children, but even more amusingly, they met while he was a lecturer – an atheist, extremely divorced jew with a strong german accent – and she was his student – an american catholic nun of ‘good family’. Indeed. People usually boggle at that a little. And the whole ‘my parents were demented hippies, no running water, we chopped firewood, you know, have you ever milked a goat?’ saga amuses people. Who are always, always, obsessed with how we went to the loo (answer – we had plumbing. Just, no water in it. So we kept a bucket of river water in the bathroom and sloshed some of it down the pan as and when. See? Very civilised. Unless you were the person on bucket-refill duty).

4) What made you choose your particular Masters, and what do you hope to get out of it?

My Masters is very sensible. It is in Librarianship. I am doing it so as to get a slightly more interesting career in libarianing, preferably one that involves being allowed to avoid the general public. It’s a career move. It’s practical.

*pause*

Oh, who am I kidding. I am a raging nerd and can think of nothing lovelier than spending the rest of my life classifying things and knowing how to find anything out about anything. I love the logic of library systems, and equally I love the emergent chaos they fall into after a hundred years or so (what with a great many things never having been thought of, such as Media Studies, Computing, aluminium shelving, and the human inability to stop writing books), and the pragmatic inability to change said systems regardless, and the ensuing development of Guild Secrets, in that we know, and we can find it for you, but you will be driven mad if you venture down to the stacks. Hah hah.


5) If you could have only one thing published, what would it be?

Oh, very sneaky question. [She disappears to think and also, I regret to say, get a finger of whiskey].

Right. The poetry. Yes. Because the novels, the half-written and the not-yet-written, well, anyone can write novels. Especially rather for fun detective and SF&F. I don’t think any of my novels are about anything seriously useful, whereas poetry is useful ipso facto. I can’t explain why I think this. It is not a logically thought out position based on anything sensible or anything I was taught in school/ university. It is a tenet of faith, born when I was given a copy of The Golden Treasury of Poetry at the age of four. Therefore my poetry, the fact I wrote it and hated it and abandoned it and came back to it, is the bit worth keeping. [I think that's the whiskey talking. No, I know that's the whisky talking. Ask her tomorrow, and she'll be ranting in defense of her II World War novel].

DIRECTIONS FOR THE INTERVIEW MEME

  1. Leave a comment saying, “Interview me.”
  2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. Please make sure I have your email address.
  3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
  4. You will include this explanation and offer to interview someone else in the same post.
  5. When others comment, asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Acts of NHS

Friday, July 6th, 2007

Did I mention I was in poor health?

The NHS has finally remembered my existance and decided not only to give me a date for surgery, but also to give me some-one else’s cancellation, with less than a week’s notice. It could have been twenty-four hours’ notice, so I’m not complaining.

No really, I’m pleased. I’ve been longing to let a complete stranger cut holes in my abdomen. I’m not in the least freaked out. My husband is freaked out. Possibly my family will freak out [Which is why you haven't told them yet - Ed]. But me? I am as serene as the moon, serene in glory, mounting the sky. And so on.

Any recommendations for good things to read for the few days I shall be spending flat on my back, using ungodly language and ringing the bell for my pet grape-peeler?

[Reed? You haven't told them when said surgery is. Reed?

Oh, you've buggered off.

Fine. It's next Thursday.

Fine].

Letting things get under my skin; or, being an idiot

Thursday, July 5th, 2007

I assume you all know about the failed car-bomb attacks we’ve been having lately. As you can imagine, discovering your local tube is closed off by stern people in neon jackets is a bore, and being told the perpetrators are doctors, of all things, is, well, horrible. Wasn’t there this oath thing that doctors took, promising to do no harm?

Anyway, it rather derailed me because I felt it was somewhat underhand to poke fun at Gordon Brown and his zippedy-doo-dah new Cabinet of Young Things when the poor chap was having to start his new job at Critical, also known as ‘Hello, is that your country that has just burst into flames?’

And onwards to Today’s Petty Whinge:

The stupidest little incident has been irritating me for nearly a week now.

Allow me to contextualise a little. There is another website/ set of fora where I hang out and talk drivel. Hanging out and talking drivel is far much less like hard work than having all my words standing or falling on their own merit, so even though I have been lackadaising all over the blog, I have been persisting over there. And of course we got the news on Saturday that a flaming car had been driven into the doors of the Glasgow Airport terminal, and the drivers had possibly even thrown fire bombs before being flattened by police and by-standers. Naturally we were all shocked. A person, who I shall name Person (because, OK?), posted something-or-other, which was promptly removed by the moderators. So Person wrote another post saying, basically, that whoever had alerted the moderators to his post, ‘clearly think it is OK to try to throw petrol bombs at children in airport terminals.’ And then Person stormed off in a huff.

Now, I was all for being horribly cross that one’s post had been removed. But I was not at all amused by the implication that one of the other ‘regulars’ had done it (we are not that kind of people. We are all rabidly free speech), and that therefore one of the other regulars was pro-terrorism. However, many of the other regulars took time to contact Person, explain that the forum in question had all sorts of other readers who don’t post but could’ve alerted the moderators, and also, if he used language, the post would be automatically moderated by a profanity filter. As it turned out, the post had been automatically moderated for the liberal use of the words ’sod’, ‘bastards’ and ‘bloody’, and the human moderators decided the subject excused the language and re-instated it within 24 hours.

Did Person apologise for the hissy fit and the utterly unwarranted accusations? No. Did Person acknowledge calling us pro-terrorist was a bit rich? No. Is this what I care about? Not really. Anyone’s allowed the odd burst of soddishness. Especially when upset by scary news. What does bug the absolute britches off me is that I am the only one who said anything (and that a mild, ‘I’m not sure I like the implication that whoever removed Person’s post is therefore pro-terrorism.’). Everyone else was busy being reassuring and explanatory and hunting Person down so they could encourage said Person to return to the forum. The very forum that bases its raison d’être on civilised, polite, rational conversation, no shouting, no ad hominem attacks, even on difficult subjects. It’s why I could make the effort to stay there when the rest of the internetty boiling was too much like hard work.

Now, either I have missed something in my lackadaisicalery, and Person is allowed lee-way the rest of us aren’t and wouldn’t dream of claiming, for reasons I have not understood, or I am excruciatingly thin-skinned and up myself. But because everyone is refusing to discuss it, I can’t find out. And because everyone is refusing to discuss it, I am highly reluctant to open the subject and start a truly unwelcome shit-storm and put myself firmly in the unwelcome category. It is for this very wimpy reason that I am not linking to said forum.

This being my blog, I shall say what the hell I like though. I think Person’s reaction was rude and unwarranted. I think even if Person did assume (and why? Person has been posting for years, surely Person understands that there is automatic sweary moderating?) a regular had yanked his post [heh heh heh; oops. Sorry. - Ed], and therefore let fly in extremis, Person should have said sorry. More to the point, the other regulars owed it to each other to remonstrate with him, politely and mildly of course. As it is, one rather gets the impression you can say whatever the fuck you like in whatever unpleasant tone you like and everyone will butter you up big-time. Just like any other damn forum. Obviating the point of this particular special forum.

I have avoided posting this for nearly a week to make sure I wasn’t merely being a snarling bitch and making mountains out of molehills. Does the fact it still bugs me to hell mean I have a point or that I am a very snarling bitch? Or is it the fact that Person is allowed off and I didn’t think anyone else would be – what have I missed abut Person? Am I being an idiot?

The Editor, by the way, is disclaiming all responsibility for this post and thinks I am indeed being an idiot. So I may well take this post down later. Also, am off work with high temperature, so judgement probably severely impaired. But hey, like I said, my blog.