This is not beginning with quite the flair and panache I was hoping for. Day four of 30, I should have written 6666 words already. I have written 4850. Underperforming just a tad, that’s me.
[Never mind that now. You have an entire first chapter in which one of the main characters doesn’t appear at all, which if my memory of police procedural serves me right, means the entire first chapter is screwed. We need to re-write - Ed]
I think you are missing the point. The point, the actual POINT, is to write 50000 words by midnight, November the 30th. Quality is not an issue. Really, it’s not.
[But the bloody woman isn’t there! And you just left it and went on to the bit in the library with the dumb cat! Which, by the way, also sucks, and the cat makes me puke, so when you’ve put the woman back into the first chapter, and thought of a good joke about wellies, you can go and remove the damn cat. Replace it with a spider plant or something, no one will notice.]
No. Because we agreed. I am not back-tracking and re-writing anything. We can deal with nauseating cats and vanishing inspectors after Christmas.
[Well, go back and correct your typos, then. They’re getting embarrassing.]
No.
[Christ, but you’re no fun at all. Can’t I even go through and change all the real place-names to imaginary ones?]
I have to write 1666 words every single damn day! I can’t waste time and energy faffing about with your fucked-up perfectionist whining! You can have a go at the bloody thing afterwards! We had an agreement! I am not going to correct ANYTHING until after Christmas!
You can see why I’m lagging behind already, can’t you.
[Nothing to do with the insistent blogging, then?]
Oh, just sod off.
Look, Mr Editor, for the month of November, why don’t you take a holiday to Hawaii and sit by the pool with a mango juice while ukuleles play in the background? In both my novels, main characters don’t appear until the fourth or fifth chapters. It’s fine. In a very good book I read once, the main character dies halfway through. It’s OK to throw out the rules. This is called originality, sir.
By the way, Mr Editor, if you’re going to Hawaii, could you please take your cousin, Helen’s Editor, with you? He has made me spend all weekend on one paragraph. He would love a holiday. I would love him to have one.
Left by Helen on November 5th, 2006
Now there is an idea for next year. A sort of Ulysses with two protagonists. The Author and the Editor. The scene near the end where they have the knock-down, drag’m out fight will be a winner. Of course it is not necessary to have the conflict last for a full month, Just for one day. But what a day!
Left by archie on November 5th, 2006
>>I have to write 1666 words every single damn day! I can’t waste time and energy faffing about with your fucked-up perfectionist whining! You can have a go at the bloody thing afterwards! We had an agreement! I am not going to correct ANYTHING until after Christmas!
That’s telling her! Go for it gal! We’re proud of you, you know.
*kisses*
AB
Left by AB on November 6th, 2006
*Waves*
I am absolutely fascinated that Helen sees Editor as a man, and AB sees Editor as a woman. Amazing. I’ll probably have to blog about that when the madness is over.
Left by Reed on November 6th, 2006
My editor has the voice of my nasty 5th grade teacher. I am so grateful I didn’t decide to do the NaNoWriMo, you have my condolences. But you’re doing great! Stick to your guns. Write now, edit later.
Oh, and if you can’t get the Ed. to Hawaii, maybe you could just slip Him/Her a mickey and get some peace.
Left by healingmagichands on November 6th, 2006
I see your editor as a woman. Not sure why. Other editors are probably male, though. Um. Anyway. Go, Reed, go!
Left by Singing Librarian on November 7th, 2006
I see by your word counter that you have caught up and gone ahead. Go, Reed, Go!
It has come to my attention that it is the editor who slows us down. I just put up today’s post. It took me almost as long to edit and approve the darn thing as it did to write it. So tell your editor to quit bothering you and let you pound it out. You can polish later. And after all, if nothin’ gets writ there ain’t nothin’ to polish (as we might say in the Ozarks if we hadn’t gotten eddicated).
Left by healingmagichands on November 7th, 2006
Yes, as I was saying…
Left by Reed on November 7th, 2006